Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
To celebrate my 40th, some friends and I went to Commerce for dinner. Commerce was once Grange Hall, a restaurant I used to go to often but hadn’t been to since it closed years ago.
This seemed like a perfect place to have my 40th. It was immediately familiar, since they hadn’t changed the interior much at all. I knew where everything was; the bar, my favorite seat, the bathrooms. And a quick glance around brought back memories of dinners, brunches, and lunches I enjoyed over the years. Yet, the menu was completely new and foreign.
It was a lot like being 40. At this point, I know myself pretty well, but I have no expectations as to what might be coming next. I’m comfortable, but not so comfortable that I’ve given up on being surprised. Given how much fun the night was, I hope the rest of my 40's keeps the analogy alive.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
In Antarctica, researchers have found five cases of whiskey buried beneath the ice for over 100 years. The researchers are now frantically digging through the ice in hopes of finding five cases of sour mix.
That was the first joke I wrote for my "Writing for Late Night" class. I preferred the version below, but it didn't go over as well:
In Antarctica, researchers have discovered five cases of whiskey buried beneath the ice for over 100 years. They’ve also discovered Julie, the researcher none of them would have ever gone home with before, is now strangely attractive.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Yesterday, I enjoyed a traditional Jewish Christmas – a movie and Chinese food.
The movie was Avatar, which was visually stunning. Directed by James Cameron, it bore striking similarities to his other blockbuster, Titanic. Both feature a main character that goes on a journey initially meant for someone else. Both of these characters then fall in love with a woman from a completely different world than their own. They are both found guilty of a crime the are truly innocent of, and locked up while disaster occurs all around them. A woman eventually frees them both and they go off to save the day. Both our heroes die in the end, only for us to learn that their spirits live on.
Simple. Go write a blockbuster today.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Rather than "Fog-less Mirror," the box should read: "Fog. Less Mirror." That's what I wind up with - a lot of fog, which leaves much less mirror to see myself in.
Let the clotting begin.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
One day, I went up there with my buddy Jason Stanfield to make some burgers, only to find my grill was gone! Not just my grill, but everybody's. I freaked out. I mean I really went nuts. I was so angry someone would take my stuff. I took it as a personal affront. Now, this was one of my big issues - taking things personally and ramping out of control. (Okay, those are two issues.)
Jason tried to explain that since everybody's was gone, having the grills up there probably violated a rule of the building. And, in any event, it was just a $40 grill, not worth getting all riled up about. I wasn't having any of that, and I eventually tired myself out with anger.
The next day, the landlady told us the Fire Marshall was doing an inspection, and she hid all our grills so the building wouldn't get ticketed. We were free to have them back now that the coast was clear. After that incident, Jason would use the word "grill" to remind me to stay calm and not let anger get the best of me. Especially when I may not have all the facts.
I'm now back in NYC, and the view from my living room window is the word "grill" in neon lights. It's a good constant reminder to not let the world get to me. Which is real easy to forget in a city like this. Thanks Jace.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
The application provides pick-up lines and other charming tools to seduce a "wide" variety of females -- 24 in total -- including the bookworm, the cougar, the athlete and the women's studies major. It also has a "Brag" feature which encourages users to "include the name, date, and whatever details you remember" about successful hookups or failed conquests.
Pepsi removed the application after receiving heated criticism for stereotyping women. Ridiculous move Pepsi! You guys make a living selling tons and tons of corn-syrup-infused water to millions. Promoting sex between two (or more) human beings is certainly a much more natural and wholesome offering. I'd continue down that path, and forget the fizzy stuff.
And the app was educational. Who knew there were 24 different types of women?